7 Celebrities Who Look Like Oblivion NPCs
THE ELDER SCROLLS IV: OBLIVION (2006) is one of my favorite games of all time. I played it recently and was taken aback by how bad the graphics are now, nearly 13 years later. Look, they have an early Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 charm about them. The game is still incredible. But I realized the, uh…unique appearance of the game’s NPCs has been reflected in real life. If you’ve played OBLIVION, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Warning: this list is just totally made up of Perry Farrell.
#1 — Perry Farrell
The frontman and lead singer for Jane’s Addiction has an interesting bone structure. I’m really not trying to drag him here, but I mean, I guess I am dragging him, just by definition.
#2 — Perry Farrell
OBLIVION NPCs are defined by a kind of unrealistic bone structure. Perry Farrell has that. Very angular.
#3 — Perry Farrell
Remember that one quest with the vampires? Perry Farrell looks like one of the vampires in that quest.
#4 — Perry Farrell
I’m running out of things to say about Perry Farrell’s appearance here already. I’m sure he’s a cool guy.
#5 — Perry Farrell
OK, you know what it is? Perry Farrell just looks like a fantasy character anyways.
#6 — Perry Farrell
Perry, if you’re reading this, I’m a big fan. Don’t take this the wrong way. I love OBLIVION and its janky NPCs. You’re not janky though! You definitely still look like a real human. Look, that wasn’t a weird sarcastic jab. I’m sorry. Also, there’s no way you’re reading this.
#7 — BONUS: Mike D
Fine, I’ll stop focusing my unintended insults of Perry Farrell just to point out that Mike D, one of the members of the pioneering hip hop group the Beastie Boys, could also pass for a vampire OBLIVION NPC or like a high/wood elf. I also love Mike D. I probably shouldn’t make fun of him either.
There you have it! Perry Farrell is definitely an OBLIVION NPC come to life. Mike D could pass for one too. This was a stupid thing to write. Probably could have actually found seven celebrities. Didn’t wanna blow up too many spots though. Realizing that all two people on this list are Jewish. It’s not that, whatever “that” means. It’s the high cheekbones and kind of sunken eyes. And the ears. I have big ears. I was made fun of them as a kid and called Dumbo and an elf. I think I’m just projecting my own insecurities. Slept for like three hours last night. I look like an OBLIVION NPC what with the ears and sunken in eyes. I actually look like a LORD OF THE RINGS orc. See? I posted this on Instagram recently. Follow me @ ettletodd.
Damn, this was probably a bad idea. Who else looks like an OBLIVION NPC!?! Let me know! I’m genuinely interested.
